Love is such a word that may mean many things. It could be for people, animals, or even material things. Even so, it is all the same thing: LOVE. Giving in emotions and temptations causes people to feel this sensation.
In the idea of love nowadays, it would normally result to a relationship. From being strangers to friends, a man would court a woman to move on the next stage which is the bf-gf relationship, however it is unfortunate for some relationships to not end there. Instead of growing together, they are growing apart. Relationships doesn't necessarily have to be that hard, but it is just the people involved in the relationship that makes it complicated. Misunderstandings, arguments, and fights get in the way. Most people believe that conflicts are from a negative mind which contributes a lot to dull and distrusts in a relationship. Is it really a pessimistic mind that breaks a relationship? Or is it a healthy dose of pessimism that is a key to a healthy relationship? As I was going through different articles regarding pessimism and love, I found an article entitled Being a Pessimist is Good for your Relationship from the website www.yourtango.com. It interests me by the fact that it contradicts the prevailing counsel of marriage experts that being patient, forgiving and understanding leads to a healthier relationship. The author stated that optimism only pays off when a a couple's expectation translate into reality. It has always been from the start that couples expect the highest. They dream themselves of things which are far from reality. When it happens that they expect the highest, they suffer from extreme and irrational disappointments. Thus making pessimism a better approach to marriage since it is giving more likelihood to experience success and satisfaction in life, since expectations are low to begin.
The author added that a relationship is likely to be destroyed when couples force themselves to be optimistic during a rough marriage. Being positive at times a relationship gets in the state of despair could actually worsen the marriage.Glossing out the flaws can lead to long-term problems, thus making a relationship instead of growing together, growing apart. Making this negativity in particular develop good coping responses when relationships bleak. A researcher named McNulty discovered that maintaining a negative attitude during an argument can be an effective tactic in influencing a partner to change his or her ways, thus paving the path for a stronger marriage. On the other hand, has it ever crossed your mind for a pessimist and optimist to get along in a relationship? Isn't it so ironic? Let's take note to that.The article
of Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D which is entitledWhen
Optimist Marry Pessimistsfrom the website
Psychologytoday.com gave the readers a clear view on how it would work. The author stated that optimists and pessimists are evident in a relationship. Since pessimists aren't that numerous., a relationship would basically include an optimist. Considering these two people, a relationship consists of two focuses: in which onetend to see their world in terms of what they may achieve, while the other see their world in terms of what they stand to lose. In other way, a optimist sees success as being about reaching the stars, while the pessimist sees success as avoiding dangers and troubles. Both may have different approach to life. Often times it would result to a waste of time, arguing over which person is seeing things the "right" way. Instead of fighting over these perspectives, the couple can seemingly value each other's viewpoint, appreciate their beliefs, and communicate in the perspective they see. These relationships may give a balance between optimist and pessimist. Both are necessary for living a healthy and satisfying life. Considering these two articles, love isn't actually that predictable afterall. It may have a different take if it involves a pessimistic mind. It doesn't necessarily mean that one should be pessimistic in relationship. It isn't anymore such a question that negativity causes conflicts to a relationship. It's just that this negativity isn't that bad after all. Although it may bring conflicts in a relationship. Well, at some point this conflict may fruit to a healthier relationship or marriage either. Aa British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli once said, "It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being." Taking note of what he said, it turns out that he was also right. I must say, ahealthy dose of pessimism is a key to a healthier relationship too!
As I was going through different articles regarding pessimism and love, I found an article entitled Being a Pessimist is Good for your Relationship from the website www.yourtango.com. It interests me by the fact that it contradicts the prevailing counsel of marriage experts that being patient, forgiving and understanding leads to a healthier relationship.
The author stated that optimism only pays off when a a couple's expectation translate into reality. It has always been from the start that couples expect the highest. They dream themselves of things which are far from reality. When it happens that they expect the highest, they suffer from extreme and irrational disappointments. Thus making pessimism a better approach to marriage since it is giving more likelihood to experience success and satisfaction in life, since expectations are low to begin.
The author added that a relationship is likely to be destroyed when couples force themselves to be optimistic during a rough marriage. Being positive at times a relationship gets in the state of despair could actually worsen the marriage. Glossing out the flaws can lead to long-term problems, thus making a relationship instead of growing together, growing apart. Making this negativity in particular develop good coping responses when relationships bleak. A researcher named McNulty discovered that maintaining a negative attitude during an argument can be an effective tactic in influencing a partner to change his or her ways, thus paving the path for a stronger marriage.
On the other hand, has it ever crossed your mind for a pessimist and optimist to get along in a relationship? Isn't it so ironic? Let's take note to that.The article of Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D which is entitled When Optimist Marry Pessimists from the website Psychologytoday.com gave the readers a clear view on how it would work.
The author stated that optimists and pessimists are evident in a relationship. Since pessimists aren't that numerous., a relationship would basically include an optimist. Considering these two people, a relationship consists of two focuses: in which one tend to see their world in terms of what they may achieve, while the other see their world in terms of what they stand to lose. In other way, a optimist sees success as being about reaching the stars, while the pessimist sees success as avoiding dangers and troubles.
Considering these two articles, love isn't actually that predictable afterall. It may have a different take if it involves a pessimistic mind. It doesn't necessarily mean that one should be pessimistic in relationship. It isn't anymore such a question that negativity causes conflicts to a relationship. It's just that this negativity isn't that bad after all. Although it may bring conflicts in a relationship. Well, at some point this conflict may fruit to a healthier relationship or marriage either. Aa British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli once said, "It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being." Taking note of what he said, it turns out that he was also right. I must say, a healthy dose of pessimism is a key to a healthier relationship too!